Threesome
A sexual interaction among three participants, often a common fantasy.
A threesome involves three people having sex, with at least one person physically intimate with both of the others. Though the term usually describes a single sexual encounter, it has also been applied to ongoing domestic arrangements like polyamory or a ménage à trois. As a type of group sex, threesomes typically happen in private—spontaneously among friends, during casual hookups, or at swingers’ events, orgies, and sex parties. They are a frequent sexual fantasy and appear often in pornography.
Participants can be any gender or orientation, and engage in any sex act—vaginal, anal, oral, or manual—with one or both partners. Someone might also masturbate without touching the others, though whether that counts as a threesome is subjective; such activity might instead be seen as voyeurism or cuckolding. The term *troilism* covers both threesomes and cuckoldry, but its usage varies. Threesomes are sometimes labeled by participants’ genders, such as MMF, FFM, MMM, or FFF. A “sandwich” refers to a person receiving both receptive and insertive anal or vaginal sex at once, positioned between two partners.
The first major academic study on threesomes, *Threesomes: Studies in Sex, Power, and Intimacy* by Arno Karlen (1988), found they were often seen as different from other group sex. Based on interviews, Karlen noted that women sometimes viewed threesomes as a safe way to explore their sexuality; that they often involved a couple plus a third person; and that the third was not always treated as an equal. He also observed that society tended to see participants as outsiders, writing that people often think of those who have threesomes as “alien beings” who have entered “another social, psychological, and moral sphere.”
Research shows men are more interested in and more likely to have threesomes. A 1987 British newspaper survey found 34% of 1,862 men and 15% of 2,905 women had experienced one. A 2017 U.S. nationally representative sample found 34.1% of men and 11.1% of women found threesomes at least somewhat appealing, while 18% of men and 10% of women had engaged in one.
Threesomes appear in art and popular culture. Films and TV shows featuring them include *Summer Lovers* (1982), *Threesome* (1994), *Wild Things* (1998), *American Psycho* (2000), *Zoolander* (2001), *Y Tu Mamá También* (2001), *Ken Park* (2002), *The Dreamers* (2003), *Kiss Me Again* (2006), *
- definition
- Sexual interaction between three people where at least one engages in physical sexual behavior with both others
- types
- MMF, FFM, MMM, FFF; also includes sandwich position
- first major academic work
- Threesomes: Studies in Sex, Power, and Intimacy by Arno Karlen (1988)
- male participation (UK 1987)
- 34% of 1,862 men had experience
- female participation (UK 1987)
- 15% of 2,905 women had experience
- male appeal (US 2017)
- 34.1% found at least somewhat appealing
- female appeal (US 2017)
- 11.1% found at least somewhat appealing
Lore & Background
The first major academic work specifically addressing threesomes was published in 1988 by Arno Karlen, titled Threesomes: Studies in Sex, Power, and Intimacy. Drawing mainly from interview data, Karlen outlined that threesomes were often viewed as qualitatively different from other forms of group sex. Key findings included that women often saw threesomes as a safe way to explore their sexuality, that they frequently consisted of a couple joined by a third person, and that the third person was not necessarily treated equally. Karlen also noted a societal tendency to view participants as radically different from other members of society.
Reader's Guide
Threesomes hold significance as a distinct form of group sex that has been studied academically and appears widely in popular culture and pornography. Research indicates notable gender differences in interest and participation: men report higher levels of both. The 1987 British survey found 34% of men and 15% of women had experience, while a 2017 US nationally representative sample found 34.1% of men and 11.1% of women found a threesome at least somewhat appealing, with 18% of men and 10% of women having engaged in one. The term can also refer to long-term domestic arrangements like polyamory. Threesomes are depicted in numerous films and TV series, including Summer Lovers, Threesome, Wild Things, and Y Tu Mamá También. The academic work by Karlen highlighted that threesomes were often seen as qualitatively different and that participants were sometimes viewed as alien beings. The legacy of threesomes includes ongoing debate about definitions, such as whether participation without physical contact constitutes a threesome or is better interpreted as voyeurism or cuckolding.
Did You Know?
- The term 'threesome' has at times been used to refer to a long-term domestic relationship, such as polyamory or a ménage à trois.
- Troilism is a term that encompasses both threesomes and cuckoldry, though its usage across literature is inconsistent.
- In a 2017 US nationally representative sample, 18% of men and 10% of women had engaged in a threesome.
- The first major academic work on threesomes was published in 1988 by Arno Karlen.
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